If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
If you don’t wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
~Senegalese Proverb
Yeah, this one’s a gimme. I’m trying not to wait for tomorrow, knowing that all the anticipation in the world won’t change the outcome of my Clarion/Clarion West/Odyssey dreams. Those thoughts still drift into the corners, but I’m filling my days with writing, and this week with editing. After all, going to these workshops is supposed to help my writing, and not writing doesn’t support that…so, back to writing I go.
If you’ve applied, good luck! If you’ve been accepted, congratulations! And if you’re not going this year, I hope you’ll keep your chin up, your fingers busy typing, and try again next year.
Everyday Magic | M. E. Garber 
March is a really long month filled with more tomorrows than I ever thought possible. That’s all I’ve got to add, besides: Good Luck!
No kidding March is long.
I have a confession.
I am depressed after an Internet stalking binge.
I looked up one of the people who applied. She’s been in Clarkesworld, Shimmer, and Strange Horizons among others. Her short story was nominated for a Nebula this year. She wants to go to CW. Really? There is no way I can compete with that. Just. No. Way. I am picturing the readers sniffing derisively at my story, and then using it as a coaster for their coffee while they read people who ACTUALLY have a chance.
I had to vent that somehow, and I figure you both would understand. Now I just want them to put me out of my misery. Just give me my rejection so I can move on.
Can I have a hug?
*hugging tight*. I know the feeling–like everyone else is so much more advanced than me, and why don’t these people with pro sales let others have a chance, etc.
But that the well-storied applicant you mention probably feels pretty wobbly inside, or she wouldn’t be applying, right? Goals mutate. At first, you just want to be published, then you want to be well-published. Eventually, you want to be *consistently* well-published. And still, there’s no guidebook, no sure way to do any of this. Not for any of us. Is it any wonder then that already well-published (in our view) writers still seek entry into Clarion? In their minds, they may be scrambling, holding on by fingertips and hoping for a more secure perch.
Don’t let someone else’s success make you feel bad about your “lesser achievements” or “lower ranking.” Everyone walks her own path, which is what makes our stories unique. Just know that one day, if you keep on despite the ‘slings and arrows,’ *you’ll* be where that writer is. In your own way and time, you will make it! Chin up. *another hug*
Final words? Clarion doesn’t make you a writer. You, writing–that’s what makes you a writer.
Indeed there ARE lots of tomorrows. Strange how one small phone call can change all those tomorrows…. Just now, the song from the Xmas special is running thru my head–“There’s always tomorrow / for dreams to come true…”
Good luck!
Thanks for your words. Your comments made me tear up. In my head I know what you say is true. I do. My heart just wants this opportunity, and not because I feel I am so much better than anyone else. But because I am not, and this (to me) would mean that I have potential. I just want someone somewhere to read my work and see something in it. That I CAN learn and be better. That I have something to say. I want to learn. I want to learn so much, and I feel I am stuck doing this on my own. I feel like going to this learning environment would help me so much.
Logically, I know I can try again next year. Logically, I know I can still write no matter what. Logically, I know this is all part of the game. Also, a part of me thinking if I can’t even handle this wait how will I ever handle the workshop if I ever do get in?
I wish I could just shut all this off until it’s over.
Thank you for your kindness, Mary. Thanks for letting me spill my spleen all over your blog. *hugs tight*
There is also a part of me that feels selfish for this, because I know everyone applying wants it as badly as I do and not all of us can have it. Ugh. Is it April yet?
You DO have potential, and you CAN learn and grow as a writer. It is harder to do alone, but online groups help sooooo much in fighting that isolation if you don’t have a thriving local writing scene. Have you joined a crit group, either in person or online?
And don’t think you’re the only one feeling this way. Imposter Syndrome hits most of us as we wait for the Clarions’ replies. I had it BA-AD last year. This year too, but not as much–guess I’m more comfortable being just me after going through that wringer once already. And isn’t *that* something to look forward too?
There are two groups in town, but for some reason I am just not getting that much out of them. I do have an awesome forum I belong to, and they do help me a lot. I guess it’s because those groups only meet so often and the forum is wonderful, but not in person. Maybe it’s the waiting that’s making me feel so lonely right now. No one I know in person or on my forum is applying.
I have an acting competition this week. I am hoping that takes my mind off of it.
Thanks for being there. I hope you get in this time. You deserve it for having been through it already. You are fantastic.
I hope you get that phone call. I sure as hell hope some of us forumers get one. That way I would at least feel like good was done.
It is getting harder and harder to hold onto the good attitude I intended to have about this whole thing as the month wears on.
*hugs*